This week, our Founder, Sara Sweat, normalizes the discomfort that comes with acknowledging that we don’t know it all and shares the steps she takes to lead with curiosity.
Sara Sweat, MA – Founder & CEO, A Life Curated
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but for High EQ Leaders, it’s a core value that significantly elevates results. By following our own innate curiosity, we can explore topics faster, learn more, and authentically inspire others. But, it’s not always comfortable. Let’s explore some of what arises when we choose to Lead Curious.
Embracing Uncertainty
I have no gift for certainty. In fact the older I get, there is less and less of which I am absolutely certain. But, when it’s your responsibility to achieve results as a leader, remaining uncertain indefinitely isn’t an option. So, how do we move through it?
There are essentially two choices: fake it or embrace it.
Many a leader, in an attempt to avoid the dreaded words “I don’t know”, have rolled the dice on uncertainty. Gambled that their gut, experience, or knowledge would be sufficient to carry them through – occasionally to fantastic results. So we, too, believe we can make a good decision from that place. But, the odds are not in our favor.
The only sure way to navigate uncertainty is to embrace it. We can’t get to the other side of anything without first acknowledging where we are. When we are uncertain, it usually means we don’t have enough information. Fortunately, that is a completely fixable problem. If you don’t know the answer – start with what you do know. Start by gathering data & identifying assumptions.
Replacing Assumption
Have you ever heard the old saying “when you assume you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’? Unchecked assumptions are guaranteed to eventually cause trouble for leaders.
Usually because the problems we solve aren’t that simple. Relying on what makes sense to us not only discounts complexity, but inflates our own understanding. As you rise in your career, you necessarily disconnect from the intimate details of each role & task within the organization & rely on strong leaders to keep you connected to relevant elements and outcomes. This tradeoff gives you the bandwidth for strategic priorities that only you can do, but it also means you are generally not the best person to assess the operational impact of every decision you make. So, you have to get good at asking quality questions.
A quality question is open – meaning it can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”. And, it promotes dialogue. But, more importantly, it focuses less on immediate needs and more on systemic understanding through empathy.
More than a simple “how” or “why”, quality questions are grounded in the experience of others. They replace assumption with empathetic knowledge & leave you able to identify implications about which you didn’t expressly ask – because you understand the underlying truth of the system. And, pro tip, if you ask them at the start of a project – you’ll save everyone a lot of rework.
Seeking Feedback
If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts, you’ll know I am a big fan of feedback. The best free way to reduce blindspots and elevate performance is to surround yourself with a diverse group of smart, insightful humans who are for your good and ask for their observations. It’s especially important if you want to lead with curiosity.
The key here is to vet your questions & the conclusions you’re drawing from their answers. The development of an employee survey allows you multiple opportunities to practice seeking feedback this way.
- Solicit questions from your entire employee population to see what they’d like the chance to talk about.
- Interpret those questions & curate the survey with your senior leadership team to allow for dialogue and assumption challenging.
- Once results are in, share results with senior leaders & ask each to interpret the findings independently. It’s fascinating to see just how much our individual perspectives impact how we view empirical data.
- Use all of this feedback to create the right talk tracks to plan your response & share results with the broader company.
Every leader needs a core group of trusted advisors whose feedback offers dissenting opinions and unique perspectives.
Looking Imperfect
After my graduate program in Counseling, I navigated a particularly challenging time in my personal life. While out to dinner with a friend from the program, I bemoaned that I hadn’t seen my challenges coming. Surely my new graduate level education should have alerted me to the issues & prevented me from making poor choices and getting hurt! But, my wise friend knew that’s not what learning looks like.
It’s messy. It’s slow. And, often, we don’t really learn the lesson until we’re on the other side of doing it poorly a few times. All my fancy education had given me was more specific & accurate language with which to berate myself when the inevitable problems arose.
Looking imperfect – especially when you feel the pressure of hundreds of expectant eyes – is incredibly uncomfortable. We work so hard to garner respect and be viewed as subject matter experts in our field that the idea of acknowledging we don’t know the answer – or worse, that we were wrong – feels catastrophic.
But, friends – believe me when I tell you – this is the difference between the leaders who inspire you and the leaders you dread. This – right here. The willingness to look imperfect while learning, trying, & growing.
Imperfect leaders normalize what learning looks like for the rest of us. They make it ok for us to take risks, try new things, & be inspired by our own curiosity.
Sparking Curiosity
When we are actually curious, it changes the way we understand and speak – like some unique alchemy that naturally transforms the dull into the motivational.
For example, I am not a sports fan. In fact, I refer to all sports collectively as “sporsting”. As in, “we went to a sportsing event & the nachos were really good” or “he was wearing a sportsing shirt from one of those sportsing teams that does the sportsing at the sportsing arena…field… place”.
But, I enjoy watching the Olympics. Why? Because I love learning people’s stories. Get me invested in someone’s story & I will cheer for them as they brush ice out of the way of a giant polished rock…literally.
Remarkably, to spark curiosity in others you don’t need to find a way to connect with what’s most interesting to them – you just need to find what inspires you. Your authentic inspiration will create the connection for others.
Think about the last TED talk you watched that really inspired you or the last great conversation you had with a friend or colleague embarking on something about which they were truly passionate. It’s contagious, right?
I am curious about people. That’s my way in. But, what’s yours? What is it that you are drawn to – that just makes sense & gets you asking questions? Play to that strength this week. And, let me know how it goes. I’m curious.
