Sara Sweat, MA – Founder & CEO, A Life Curated
We can all agree that humans are biologically wired to live and thrive in community. Numerous studies have demonstrated the importance of strong social connections on our physical and mental health. And, even more point to their impact on our quality of life and longevity.
The Blue Zones, regions of the world with the highest concentration of centenarians, show us that strong social connections are deeply ingrained in the culture. People live in close-knit communities, share meals together, and prioritize relationships. Dan Buettner, author of “The Blue Zones” notes that belonging to a community imbues us with a strong sense of purpose, social support, and natural stress reduction.
But, in our increasingly connected world, isolation and loneliness often abound. Left untended, these conditions almost always lead to burnout. To prevent it, we have to be intentional about creating our own multifaceted and bidirectional community.
The Three C’s
When I’m working with clients on the verge of burning out, their community has typically dwindled to mandatory communication with colleagues, logistical conversations with life partners, and responsibility based engagement with children and friends.
With this underpinning, joy can seem to have fled our very existence and even spending time with beloved friends feels like a chore. We have to build our community back. And, the more diverse our community bench is – the better. A great place to start is with the Three C’s.
Champions
The champions of your community are professionals. People with relevant expertise who are fully in your corner championing you with a strong bias for your good. These are individuals like physicians, trainers, counselors, coaches, & spiritual leaders. Only you can determine the right mix for you, but they should be strong where you are weakest & offer unflinching support.
Colleagues
Sometimes you just need someone with whom to roll your eyes in agreement. And, that’s where colleagues come in. These people are in a similar place professionally or personally and serve as vital mirrors in a community. Choose colleagues at your specific stage, but also some ahead (mentors) and some behind (mentees). You learn different things and gain different benefits from each cohort.
Carus
The Latin word for beloved, carus, is at the root of the Gaelic Anam Cara; or soul friend. What we’re after here are friends or family that are in your life just because you love each other. There’s no transaction involved. These are people who can’t do anything for you & vice versa. Just people you love – who love you back. Think grandparents, best friends, or even fur babies.
Create Opportunities for Engagement
What’s you’ve identified the key members of your community, start small. Find time to chat with an old friend on the phone. Meet up with a sibling for a run. Volunteer somewhere as a family. Join a book club or take a live course in a subject matter that interests you. Go out with your partner to somewhere that will make you both laugh. Your goal is simply to be present and connect.
New shared experiences are what strengthens and renews the social bonds we all need to better cope with the stress and adversity of life’s challenges. And, more often than not, they help us gain perspective on what’s weighing us down and see solutions we can’t find on our own.
