Emotional Intelligence is a necessary skill for all transformational leaders. But, one of its key components – empathy – gets a bit of a bad reputation in the workplace. Founder Sara Sweat breaks empathy down into its three types and offers practical examples for leaders to get the most from this vital tool.
Sara Sweat, MA – Founder & CEO, A Life Curated
Unless you’re a psychopath, empathy is something you already use every day.
Characterized as the ability to share in the vicarious experience of others, empathy is at the very foundation of how we learn and relate to each other as a species. In fact, the acclaimed cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead would say it’s at the core of civilization itself.
When asked what she considered to be the first archaeological evidence of civilized society, Dr. Mead replied that it was a healed femur bone. She noted that in order to survive such an injury, others would have had to provide food, shelter, & care to the afflicted for long enough for the bone to heal. Without empathy, I’m not sure why anyone would have done that.
Often misunderstood as mere sympathy, empathy is a crucial skill for leaders. Daniel Goleman, a renowned psychologist, has identified three distinct types of empathy that play vital roles in leadership: emotional empathy, cognitive empathy, and empathic concern.
Emotional Empathy: Feeling with Others
Emotional empathy involves feeling the emotions of another person. It’s the ability to “tune in” to their emotional state and respond with appropriate emotions. This type of empathy is often associated with the limbic system, a part of the brain involved in emotional processing.
Practical Application for Leaders:
- Imagination: If you’re not naturally someone who picks up on the emotional experience of others, use your imagination. Simply get curious about how you might feel in that circumstance & act as you’d want someone else to act toward you.
- Validation: Acknowledge and validate the emotions of others, even if you don’t agree with their perspective.
- Question: If you can’t tell how someone is feeling – ask open ended questions. The interest you take in your colleague or team member will demonstrate your concern.
- Phrases for Navigation: “Tell me more.”, “How are you feeling about that?”, “What I’m hearing you say is..”
Cognitive Empathy: The Mental Map
Cognitive empathy, often referred to as “perspective-taking,” is the ability to understand another person’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs from their point of view. It’s like creating a mental map of their internal world. Neuroscience has revealed that this type of empathy is rooted in the prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain associated with higher-order thinking and decision-making, so it’s easiest to access when we’re not triggered or overwhelmed.
Practical Application for Leaders:
- Active Listening: Pay close attention to what others are saying, both verbally and non-verbally.
- Recall: Recall how this individual or team best processed information in the past. Tailor your communication or event to be in alignment with that observed behavior.
- Offer Insight: Share your own thought process empowering others to become more familiar with the way you think and analyze information.
- Phrases for Navigation: “I know XYZ is important to you.”, “What are you thinking about that?”, “When I’m in that situation, the first thing I think about is…”
Empathic Concern: The Desire to Help
Empathic Concern is the desire to help others who are suffering. It’s a combination of cognitive and emotional empathy, coupled with a sense of concern and compassion. This type of empathy is linked to the insula, a brain region involved in social and emotional processing.
Practical Application for Leaders:
- Acts of Kindness: Perform small acts of kindness that are tailored to each individual to show your care and support.
- Support Systems: Create a supportive environment where employees feel comfortable sharing their concerns and ideas, as well as knowing how and when to ask for help.
- Philanthropy: Engage in philanthropic activities to give back to your community as a team or company.
- Phrases for Navigation: “How can I best support you?”, “It sounds like you could really use XYZ. Is that right?”, “Let’s go for a walk and talk it through.”
Understanding the three different types of empathy gives leaders a critical advantage in building strong relationships, inspiring teams, and creating a positive work environment. Which type of empathy is your default? What impact could you have if you excelled at all three?
